


problem child

by VerdantMoth



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Carnival, Day Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Kid Fic, M/M, The kids are triplets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 09:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerdantMoth/pseuds/VerdantMoth
Summary: "Do you really think this is a good idea?""Nope.""Good, I'd be worried if you did."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100
Collections: Mandatory Fun Day





	problem child

“You really think this is a good idea?” Bucky demands. He’s leaning against the cracked door frame of Clint’s kitchen, arms crossed over his chest. 

Clint, currently elbow deep in a pile of Capri Suns and cheese sticks shrugs. “Nope,” he shrugs. 

“Good. I’d be worried if you did,” Bucky chides. “Tony is a hundred percent gonna murder us when he finds out what we did.”

“Our fault the tykes are in trouble so,” Clint begins, frowning. He grabs a pile of grapes and just dumps them in with everything else, not even bagging them. 

Bucky groans but he steps forward and snatches the bag from Clint. “Peter wont drink orange, Harley will want strawberry kiwi, and Morgan’ll pitch a fit if there’s no grape. And,” he groans. “Jesus Clint,  _ you _ don’t even drink cherry and like, seventy percent of these are!”

Clint shrugs. “We keep buying the multi-packs and I don’t know what else to do with them- hey!”

Bucky continues removing pouches of juice, chip bags, fruits, and  _ knives.  _ “They’re six, and you can’t even take knives in! Also,” he starts, momentarily distracted as Clint snatches a flask from his hand and shoves it back in. 

“Also,” Bucky repeats himself, taking it back out. “We’re going for like, four hours max, Clint. We don’t need this much shit.”

“JAR!” Bucky turns around to see Nat opening the door, Harley on her hip. Peter and Morgan dash buy, each snatching a juice patch and flinging themselves onto the couch, squabbling for the remote.

“Why do you guys have sixty juice pouches?” She asks, grabbing a strawberry kiwi and letting Harley loose.

“Fourty-eight,” Clint corrects. “And because we might need them. What if they get thirsty?”

“The knives?” She asks.

“‘Danger! It’s a  _ carnival,” _ he gasps. “There are  _ carnies _ around.”

Bucky sqwaks at him. “And what am I?” 

Clint rounds on him, waving a mozzarella cheese slice. “You’re one dude wrangling three hellions!” 

“Jar!” Three voices screech. 

“Nu-uh,” Clint says. 

Morgan stands up on the couch, fat finger waving. She’s spilling juice as she says, “Papa Steve says if it includes the no-no word, it’s Jar.” 

“Papa Steve,” Clint begins. Bucky hits him in the arm with his metal one. 

“Clint,” Natasha says, “step away from the bag and let me and Bucky work. Go watch cartoons.”

Clint bites his lip, eyeing his stash and then drops his shoulders. “Leave the chocolate at least.” They ignore him, making quick work of lessening his piles and he grumbles his way to the couch, already looking for Spongebob. 

-

The carnival is exactly as fun as Clint had expected. Bucky is covered in cotton candy and red slush, Peter and Harley are both wearing more chocolate than they ate. Morgan is mostly clean, although there’s a suspicious smear on the front of her t-shirt that might be mustard, might be something else. 

Clint, miraculously, is still clean. “Where next?” He asks. 

He’s bouncing as much as the triplets and looking at Bucky with sugar-wide eyes. “Ponies?” Peter demands. 

Bucky pinches his nose, because he now has three six year olds and a  _ goddamned adult archer _ shrieking for the ponies. “Fine! Okay, oh my god, Fine! Ponies!” He still pulls out the wipes. “But first, hands and faces!’ 

He’s just handed Peter one when Clint’s whole face goes through so many emotions Bucky half expects him to fall to the ground. 

“Are those my kids?” Tony asks. 

Bucky whirls around and Steve is giving him a look to rival Sarah Rogers’  _ I’m not mad I’m disappointed. _

Predictably, the three terrors let out ungodly banshee shrieks and go running. “Clint’s fault,” Bucky immediately says, nose to his finger. 

Clint has zero shame and hands over two oversized llamas and a giant crocodile. “You wouldn’t let them come so I commandeered them.” 

“Yeah!’ Morgan screams in Tony’s ear. “Unca Clint commandeered us!” 

Steve continues to judge Bucky unfairly. “I expect better of you.” 

“What about Clint?” He demands.

Tony laughs, “No, this we definitely expect of Clint.”

“Yeah- hey!”

Bucky grabs Clint’s hand in his own and leans into him. “Fair enough. But also? You took the carnival away from them for a broken vase.”

Tony shakes his head, “No. We took the carnival away because they lied.” 

Harley kicks his heels into Steve’s thighs, “Well! ‘Cause you were gonna yell at Unca Clint!”

Peter reaches across Steve’s shoulders to smack his brother, “Secret!”

Bucky rounds on his boyfriend, eyebrows angry. “Explain.” 

Clint’s whole face goes red, and he’s about to argue, but Morgan looks two seconds from a sugar meltdown and Peter and Harley are fighting in Steve’s arms. “I might’ve been the one to hit it with the nerf gun, not the kids.”

“OH. Migod,” Bucky snipes. “Seriously! You made me help you kidnap the Stark-Rogers trio because  _ you _ couldn’t admit  _ you _ broke the other vase?” He tries to tug his hand back but Clint isn’t relenting. “I have ice-cream and cheese in the plates of my arm because of you!” 

Morgan does start crying, which makes Peter start. Harley joins in quickly. “Bed time,” Steve sighs. “Bucky, deal with your problem child and keep ours out?” 

Bucky points his fingers at the family. “All of Stark’s tech and you couldn’t check?”

“We don’t spy on the kids,” Tony reprimands.    
“I’ll show you spying,” Bucky grumbles. He turns back to Clint. “You’re grounded. No 2 am pancakes. No midnight cuddles.” 

Clint begins to whine, but Bucky smacks a sticky, dirty hand over his lips. “Grounded!” 

He snipes the whole way home, is suckered into a bath with Clint, and pancakes at 1.59 am. When Clint leans in to kiss him, syrup slick lips, a few minutes later, he figures it’s not midnight, so naked cuddles are allowed. 


End file.
